I'm back in England after my african excursions. I was over tired on the plane as I wrote goals and to do lists for the coming quarter, and just felt so out of my depth at the prospect of it all.
But somehow I got to a space of real clarity - I could just 'be' with the mountain of work that needs to be done.
Balance will be integral to this year being everything I want it to be. The little things that drag me out of the zone simply have to go. So I am entering an eight week booze sabbatical as of today... dear oh dear. My mission over these next few months is to remain totally at peace with wherever I may be right now.
I keep having so many realisations around what it is to be 'present' at the moment. I get that excellence is just the same as being present. When I let go of all desires and attachments and all the meaningless ambitions, I can just excel at being me, right here, right now. And I get that who that person is, is exactly a result of what I was doing yesterday, or a minute ago. And who I am being right now is the best possible investment in the future I can possibly make. What I do right now is the producer of who I will have become in 5 minutes time, or in one hour or 10 years. It's all about right now. There is nothing else! Nothing else even exists!
I think this is one of the underlying messages in Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, when the treasure turns out to be in the shepherd's andalusian hills where his journey started - it was right with him, all along, in the present moment - he always had it, he just needed to realise it.
The treasure is right here, right now. It's the present.
So I choose to be here, and I get that all there actually is, is the here and now.
So why do I always feel as if there's somewhere to get to, something to 'make happen'?
There's nowhere to get to, no need to 'make it'.
But it's a neat trick ingraining that in our psyche. Taking time out surely helps, but as life speeds up again, it's a bigger task to stay unattached, in the day and free.
But I know at least I have a chance this time. Solid foundations are being built.
I'm rambling - but if we can't ramble on our blogs, where can we?